I love that you see all your diaries and writing self as old friends 🧡 I used to sign off my diary entries with 'love Chloë' like I was writing a letter to myself, an affirmation of my worth. Most of these diaries are gone now and I havevto admit I struggle to read the ones that are left! Such a beautiful dream to have and that inner guidance to keep going. Wonderful x
Thanks Chloë 😊 I used to sign them off that way too, well I still do actually 😄
Depending on what era of my life, it can be a struggle for me to read back on some of them too. I can see how anxious and depressed I was in parts and it's sad to reread some of the stuff I was saying about/to myself. But it also captures how far I've come and I'm not sure I would have realised the small changes that have occurred over time if I didn't write them down. I wonder what I will think about the stuff I'm writing now 😅 x
I remember being terrified of Ursula, too! I never like that story because it was too frightening and upsetting. I think I work through my inner critic by trying to publish a poem every day. I suffered from writers block for twenty years and I’m still scared of it returning! So I write obsessively, constantly thinking about poetry. I’ve also begun to draw again, which I haven’t done since school! Just for fun, to play with color, which I love. I hope our 90 year olds are content and compassionate and as beautiful as your dream. Cesca xx
Thanks Cesca! Isn't that funny that we were both so scared of it! Looking back, a lot of the stories and the Disney versions were pretty harrowing 😅 wow I can't imagine you having writers block, I've always been so impressed by how much beautiful poetry flows out of you. It just goes to show how strong our inner critics can be! x
90-year-old, you is passionate and a great mentor for you now.
Ursula is a very fitting inner critic representation - trying to steal your voice, to trap you. Ohhh how about 90 year old mentor versus Ursula, a 'writing-off' exercise one versus the other ;-)
😁 It’s good to hear you have a strong defender in your corner. A trick I used to use with ‘guilting voice’ was to imagine it on ‘chipmunk’ high-speed…turning the speed dial up ;-)
Oh I love this! I’ve been umming and arring as to whether to put post writing regularly on my 25 things I want to do/aims/ideals for 2025. I feel a nudge from your post that I should indeed get posting regularly. Even if it’s for that 90 year old me. I think I’d be a great exercise for me to even think about her and what she’d like to see looking back on her life 🤔
Yeah! I think if the idea of doing it excites you (and maybe scares you a little, but in a good way), then you should go for it ☺️ I'm sure 90 year old you would be really pleased you did it ☺️ x
Oooo existes and scares a little, crickey, I don’t know what that would be. What ideas do you have for such a thing? I’m point blank not doing a bungee jump or sky dive though, I couldn’t think of anything worse 😆
Haha don't worry, you don't have to jump out of any planes 😂 I was just thinking that my post popular post last year was one I was almost tempted not to post because it scared me a little about how vulnerable I felt I was being, but it actually tapped into a universal feeling a lot of other people shared. Which taught me that the best posts are often the ones we're usually avoiding to write in the first place. For instance, I keep avoiding writing about my feelings with loneliness and a need for more connection, but I know deep down that a lot of other people are probably feeling exactly the same and would want to read it! 😅 x
I sometimes get feeling of ‘oh is that too graphic’ or ‘is that too much information’ but then I just think f it, if you don’t like what I write unfollow me and don’t read. I don’t know why I’ve got such a carefree way of thinking.
Although, I do wonder if I have a lacking of really understanding that real people are reading my inner workings. Like when someone in real life conversations mentions something they read of mine I feel kinda naked.
I do sometimes worry I sound like I’m being meany or all ‘woe is me’ (an expression in my family) but again, often it’s short lived or I put in a bit of a joke to lift it up a bit.
Hmmmm I’ll have to ponder what scares me a little that doesn’t involve jumping out of planes (I mentioned it because we saw some people parachuting 🪂 Saturday and I was like nope 🙂↔️ not for me).
I know what you mean about the 'feeling naked' when people that you know in 'real life' read your blog. When people say to me "oh I've just been reading your blog", I seem to automatically say "oh I'm sorry it's a bit of a downer" 😂😂 but like you said, they don't have to read it if they don't want to 😌 x
That’s so funny, I don’t think of your blog as a downer! I really enjoy reading your stuff. But yes, if someone didn’t like it they just can stop reading! Which won’t be me, I look forward to more 🤭
Loved reading this! I have learned to just create, make art, write without need for any particular outcome. And if the inner critic does show its face, here's how I tame it.
hi - love the fluency of your writing. Do you think it actually helps to write things down then they stop going around in our brain? and basically does our brain sometimes wants peace?. I also think sometimes (although i am not religious) that one of the churches has a system where you can 'confess' of your 'sins' (if you call it that) so therefore, by either writing something down or unloading your problems, it becomes less of a problem. As for 'creativity' - i am worried that the youngsters (after the age of say 9) are probably not given the opportunity to be 'creative' - and go straight onto their phones where they normally have to play a game of survival so I am worried that their 'creative' part of their brain will diminish and disappear and then they will not be able to write down their problems. Will they become automatons without any feelings? Interesting to note that my grandmother who had cancer of the bowel actually wrote a separate diary about her cancer journey, which, once again, might have helped her to get through the 'bad' days. Not only had she kept a diary since she was a child in the 1900's but also her mother did in the 1880's, and my mother and myself so it has long been used as a useful tool. After all, if we are having a 'bad' day or are feeling 'lonely' - we might say to ourselves "who really cares?" so therefore the diary becomes our best friend in a different way. I also wonder if we have two people in our brain fighting for attention - the one that is negative and the one that is positive. I believe that the negative one is always stronger and tries to pull us down so we have to try and have a 'fight' with it. Do you ever to say to yourself out loud "Come on Amanda, you can do it, don't let the ' * " get you down" - to ignite the positive side in you. If you are happy to let us know how you are really feeling whether you happy or really sad, I believe that someone else reading it will be thankful to know that someone else in the world is going through a similar experience so they don't feel so lonely, etc. if that makes sense. Keep up the good work as I truly believe it is cathartic and helps us mentally and physically and it is helping you immensely so I am pleased for you xxx
Aw I love that we come from a long line of women who kept diaries 😍 it has obviously been a therapeutic outlet for all these generations.
There definitely is something about being creative, especially writing for me, that really helps clear my thoughts. I'm just about to read a book by Martha Beck about creativity and how it can reduce anxiety, so that will be an interesting read to understand the science behind it all x
I love this with all my heart ♥ My journals are my old friends too, and I enjoy sitting down to read my early ones every year or two. I imagine reading them when I'm old as well, and am grateful that I have these old pieces of myself - they all helped to bring me to this place ♥
I really love hearing about your writing journey and the way it's helping to shape your steps now.
Thanks Ruth ☺️ I also loved reading about your experience with journalling. I am in awe that you managed to get to 1000 days of journalling 😱 that is ultimate goals for me right there. What an amazing way to show up for yourself 😍 x
Yes, I have a terrible critic who likes to hover in my vicinity and casually spit out remarks that sound like the truth. I’m learning to ignore it. But it’s a work in progress.
Oooh yes I hear you, it certainly is a work in progress for me too. The inner critic gets really loud on the days anxiety has taken hold, or I'm too busy, or too tired or too hungry or overwhelmed. She's a right pain that inner critic 😌 x
Sometimes I can’t quite believe how aligned our posts are! I’ve just shared about my journey so far creating companion, guide and journal, Migraine & Me!
I’ve found the same thing in that through the art of this practice, I became my own best friend - learnt to cheerlead myself on! The support that I was so desperate for, beyond desperate for - I discovered it in myself!
I love the way you talk about insights! Like a lightening bolt sometimes⚡️something I did not realise I was already noting in my journal for years and now I’ve been guided to turn these into a set of cards (at some point).
My inner critic got really loud during the editing process of Unleashing My Inner Power. It was telling me that I’d be told I wasn’t qualified enough to teach others how to dare to dream and step into their own inner power.
Rather than see it as an outsider, I’ve been trying to work with my inner critic as more of a guide. As a companion. Possibly one of the hardest things to do because its main emotion is fear. (Trying to keep me safe)
But using this as an example, I now know that when someone does say I’m not qualified enough (happens all the time when speaking your truth and carving out a new path, away from the known so it’s more of a dead cert), I’ll now know that its rooted in fear. That I’ve made manifest of it from my very own internal fears. And that all that is happening is that my external environment is reflecting a part of my internal condition. I feel like this will help a lot and it’s makes me feel even more connected to being a creator.
Wow that's spooky isn't it. I feel you always write an article at just the time I'm needing to hear that message. It's nice to finally feel aligned with similar people, as most of my life I've always felt a bit off, like I'm either too ahead or too far behind my peers and their stage of life.
I like how you call the inner critic as a companion too, as like you said, it often does come from a place of fear and insecurity which needs soothing too. It often gets stronger if you don't listen to it, but less harsh if you acknowledge it.
I love Julie Cameron books (like the artists way), as she talks a lot about the inner critic and how you need to say things like 'thanks for letting me know inner critic, but I've got it from here. I know you're only trying to protect me but I can take over from now on'.
I'm really looking forward to seeing your Migraine and Me project. I'm glad you didn't let the inner critic win out and stop you from writing it as it sounds like it will help a lot of people ☺️ x
I love that you see all your diaries and writing self as old friends 🧡 I used to sign off my diary entries with 'love Chloë' like I was writing a letter to myself, an affirmation of my worth. Most of these diaries are gone now and I havevto admit I struggle to read the ones that are left! Such a beautiful dream to have and that inner guidance to keep going. Wonderful x
Thanks Chloë 😊 I used to sign them off that way too, well I still do actually 😄
Depending on what era of my life, it can be a struggle for me to read back on some of them too. I can see how anxious and depressed I was in parts and it's sad to reread some of the stuff I was saying about/to myself. But it also captures how far I've come and I'm not sure I would have realised the small changes that have occurred over time if I didn't write them down. I wonder what I will think about the stuff I'm writing now 😅 x
I remember being terrified of Ursula, too! I never like that story because it was too frightening and upsetting. I think I work through my inner critic by trying to publish a poem every day. I suffered from writers block for twenty years and I’m still scared of it returning! So I write obsessively, constantly thinking about poetry. I’ve also begun to draw again, which I haven’t done since school! Just for fun, to play with color, which I love. I hope our 90 year olds are content and compassionate and as beautiful as your dream. Cesca xx
Thanks Cesca! Isn't that funny that we were both so scared of it! Looking back, a lot of the stories and the Disney versions were pretty harrowing 😅 wow I can't imagine you having writers block, I've always been so impressed by how much beautiful poetry flows out of you. It just goes to show how strong our inner critics can be! x
90-year-old, you is passionate and a great mentor for you now.
Ursula is a very fitting inner critic representation - trying to steal your voice, to trap you. Ohhh how about 90 year old mentor versus Ursula, a 'writing-off' exercise one versus the other ;-)
Thanks for sharing Amanda, I hear/read you.
Thanks Victoria 😀 Ha that's a good idea about the voice battle! I feel that goes on daily in my head before I even sit down to write 😂 x
😁 It’s good to hear you have a strong defender in your corner. A trick I used to use with ‘guilting voice’ was to imagine it on ‘chipmunk’ high-speed…turning the speed dial up ;-)
Haha that's a very good idea! 🤭
Oh I love this! I’ve been umming and arring as to whether to put post writing regularly on my 25 things I want to do/aims/ideals for 2025. I feel a nudge from your post that I should indeed get posting regularly. Even if it’s for that 90 year old me. I think I’d be a great exercise for me to even think about her and what she’d like to see looking back on her life 🤔
Yeah! I think if the idea of doing it excites you (and maybe scares you a little, but in a good way), then you should go for it ☺️ I'm sure 90 year old you would be really pleased you did it ☺️ x
Oooo existes and scares a little, crickey, I don’t know what that would be. What ideas do you have for such a thing? I’m point blank not doing a bungee jump or sky dive though, I couldn’t think of anything worse 😆
Haha don't worry, you don't have to jump out of any planes 😂 I was just thinking that my post popular post last year was one I was almost tempted not to post because it scared me a little about how vulnerable I felt I was being, but it actually tapped into a universal feeling a lot of other people shared. Which taught me that the best posts are often the ones we're usually avoiding to write in the first place. For instance, I keep avoiding writing about my feelings with loneliness and a need for more connection, but I know deep down that a lot of other people are probably feeling exactly the same and would want to read it! 😅 x
Yeah for sure people would want to read it!
I sometimes get feeling of ‘oh is that too graphic’ or ‘is that too much information’ but then I just think f it, if you don’t like what I write unfollow me and don’t read. I don’t know why I’ve got such a carefree way of thinking.
Although, I do wonder if I have a lacking of really understanding that real people are reading my inner workings. Like when someone in real life conversations mentions something they read of mine I feel kinda naked.
I do sometimes worry I sound like I’m being meany or all ‘woe is me’ (an expression in my family) but again, often it’s short lived or I put in a bit of a joke to lift it up a bit.
Hmmmm I’ll have to ponder what scares me a little that doesn’t involve jumping out of planes (I mentioned it because we saw some people parachuting 🪂 Saturday and I was like nope 🙂↔️ not for me).
I know what you mean about the 'feeling naked' when people that you know in 'real life' read your blog. When people say to me "oh I've just been reading your blog", I seem to automatically say "oh I'm sorry it's a bit of a downer" 😂😂 but like you said, they don't have to read it if they don't want to 😌 x
That’s so funny, I don’t think of your blog as a downer! I really enjoy reading your stuff. But yes, if someone didn’t like it they just can stop reading! Which won’t be me, I look forward to more 🤭
Loved reading this! I have learned to just create, make art, write without need for any particular outcome. And if the inner critic does show its face, here's how I tame it.
https://mirandavandenheuvel.substack.com/p/how-to-tame-your-inner-critic
Ooh thanks for the link, I look forward to reading how you tame your inner critic 😀 x
hi - love the fluency of your writing. Do you think it actually helps to write things down then they stop going around in our brain? and basically does our brain sometimes wants peace?. I also think sometimes (although i am not religious) that one of the churches has a system where you can 'confess' of your 'sins' (if you call it that) so therefore, by either writing something down or unloading your problems, it becomes less of a problem. As for 'creativity' - i am worried that the youngsters (after the age of say 9) are probably not given the opportunity to be 'creative' - and go straight onto their phones where they normally have to play a game of survival so I am worried that their 'creative' part of their brain will diminish and disappear and then they will not be able to write down their problems. Will they become automatons without any feelings? Interesting to note that my grandmother who had cancer of the bowel actually wrote a separate diary about her cancer journey, which, once again, might have helped her to get through the 'bad' days. Not only had she kept a diary since she was a child in the 1900's but also her mother did in the 1880's, and my mother and myself so it has long been used as a useful tool. After all, if we are having a 'bad' day or are feeling 'lonely' - we might say to ourselves "who really cares?" so therefore the diary becomes our best friend in a different way. I also wonder if we have two people in our brain fighting for attention - the one that is negative and the one that is positive. I believe that the negative one is always stronger and tries to pull us down so we have to try and have a 'fight' with it. Do you ever to say to yourself out loud "Come on Amanda, you can do it, don't let the ' * " get you down" - to ignite the positive side in you. If you are happy to let us know how you are really feeling whether you happy or really sad, I believe that someone else reading it will be thankful to know that someone else in the world is going through a similar experience so they don't feel so lonely, etc. if that makes sense. Keep up the good work as I truly believe it is cathartic and helps us mentally and physically and it is helping you immensely so I am pleased for you xxx
Aw I love that we come from a long line of women who kept diaries 😍 it has obviously been a therapeutic outlet for all these generations.
There definitely is something about being creative, especially writing for me, that really helps clear my thoughts. I'm just about to read a book by Martha Beck about creativity and how it can reduce anxiety, so that will be an interesting read to understand the science behind it all x
I love this with all my heart ♥ My journals are my old friends too, and I enjoy sitting down to read my early ones every year or two. I imagine reading them when I'm old as well, and am grateful that I have these old pieces of myself - they all helped to bring me to this place ♥
I really love hearing about your writing journey and the way it's helping to shape your steps now.
Thanks Ruth ☺️ I also loved reading about your experience with journalling. I am in awe that you managed to get to 1000 days of journalling 😱 that is ultimate goals for me right there. What an amazing way to show up for yourself 😍 x
Thank you so much! I assure you that it happened very unexpectedly! The most important thing is that you show up for yourself whenever you need it ♥
Yes, I have a terrible critic who likes to hover in my vicinity and casually spit out remarks that sound like the truth. I’m learning to ignore it. But it’s a work in progress.
Oooh yes I hear you, it certainly is a work in progress for me too. The inner critic gets really loud on the days anxiety has taken hold, or I'm too busy, or too tired or too hungry or overwhelmed. She's a right pain that inner critic 😌 x
Yes definitely they do capture the small changes too. That is very true xxx
Sometimes I can’t quite believe how aligned our posts are! I’ve just shared about my journey so far creating companion, guide and journal, Migraine & Me!
I’ve found the same thing in that through the art of this practice, I became my own best friend - learnt to cheerlead myself on! The support that I was so desperate for, beyond desperate for - I discovered it in myself!
I love the way you talk about insights! Like a lightening bolt sometimes⚡️something I did not realise I was already noting in my journal for years and now I’ve been guided to turn these into a set of cards (at some point).
My inner critic got really loud during the editing process of Unleashing My Inner Power. It was telling me that I’d be told I wasn’t qualified enough to teach others how to dare to dream and step into their own inner power.
Rather than see it as an outsider, I’ve been trying to work with my inner critic as more of a guide. As a companion. Possibly one of the hardest things to do because its main emotion is fear. (Trying to keep me safe)
But using this as an example, I now know that when someone does say I’m not qualified enough (happens all the time when speaking your truth and carving out a new path, away from the known so it’s more of a dead cert), I’ll now know that its rooted in fear. That I’ve made manifest of it from my very own internal fears. And that all that is happening is that my external environment is reflecting a part of my internal condition. I feel like this will help a lot and it’s makes me feel even more connected to being a creator.
Will see how it goes when it happens anyway🙂
Wow that's spooky isn't it. I feel you always write an article at just the time I'm needing to hear that message. It's nice to finally feel aligned with similar people, as most of my life I've always felt a bit off, like I'm either too ahead or too far behind my peers and their stage of life.
I like how you call the inner critic as a companion too, as like you said, it often does come from a place of fear and insecurity which needs soothing too. It often gets stronger if you don't listen to it, but less harsh if you acknowledge it.
I love Julie Cameron books (like the artists way), as she talks a lot about the inner critic and how you need to say things like 'thanks for letting me know inner critic, but I've got it from here. I know you're only trying to protect me but I can take over from now on'.
I'm really looking forward to seeing your Migraine and Me project. I'm glad you didn't let the inner critic win out and stop you from writing it as it sounds like it will help a lot of people ☺️ x
Feeling aligned….i love that term!💛 is there any other feeling like it?
🥰🤩