Travelling around in a campervan has taught me a lot about myself, especially since being diagnosed with a chronic illness. It's teaching me to enjoy the slower way of living...
I lived in Scotland when I was a child, in a tiny hamlet in Perthshire on the edge of Loch Tay. There was a waterfall and folly up the hill and you could see the Northern Lights sometimes. It was magical. Your beautiful description of your travels has inspired me to get back there, ME and decades intervening notwithstanding. I need to breathe that air again and let the beauty feed my soul!
Oh my, that does sound like a magical place to grow up. I'm so happy that the article inspired you to want to visit again. I'm always surprised at how much there is to see up there. We spoke to a little old lady at one of the campsites, and she said she has been exploring Scotland her whole life and there is still so much more to see. How right she is. And that fresh pine scent of the forests and the clear mountain air is unlike anything else, it heals the soul : ) x
I loved reading about your Scottish Nature adventures, Amanda. I didn't want it to stop, either! It's interesting to read about how you listen to your body but also challenge yourself. It's a constant balancing act, yet you can still do a little more than you thought possible. Thank you for sharing the rugged beauty of Scotland and the cosy firesides in your photos. If you have more, I'd love to see them!
I used to rent a place in Edinburgh. I can't say I lived there since I was mainly with my parents, caring for Dad BUT lots of the places you've described are familiar to me, at least by name! LOVE the 'Coo' ;-)
Yey I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed reading it, it was so fun to write. I think Scotland unleashes that creative part of my soul, I love it there.
That's exactly it. I find having a chronic illness is a constant balancing act. Some days I get it right, other times not so much, but I learn a lot about myself in the process.
Edinburgh is such a cool place to explore, so much history, beauty and culture all in one place. I hope you're doing ok :) x
Yes, I love Edinburgh. I go there for a few days now and again when I can. The Scottish version of healthcare is much more integrated between hospitals and community—I know because my lovely neighbour who needed support and then hospice had some good, timely support.
Yes, as a caregiver there's a continuous recalibration to sustain a calm balance. It's exhausting just trying to sustain calm! I think 'Agility' is the middle name for anyone giving or receiving care over the long term.
Thanks, hon - we're doing ok. We had a VERY early medical appointment today so Mum's sleeping right now. It's a busy week. I'm about 85-90% recovered, better than Mum.
You are so right, agility and adaptability are skills we all get very good at whether we like it or not! I'm glad to hear you are on the mend. Those early morning appointments can be incredibly draining. Best wishes to you and your mum, and for a smooth week ahead for you x
Wowsas – what a lovely time you had and I really do think if you can get away from home and go on a journey, it enlivens the soul and your thoughts and invigorates your brain. I am so happy that you had this beautiful experience and I am glad you can look forward to the next adventure.
My mother always said it is good to have a holiday ready in the next few months so if you have a down moment you can think – soon I will be in …. And it gives you something to aim for and something to keep your ‘hope’ bubbling at the surface.
Yes, I believe seeing beautiful open spaces and the wildness of the countyside like Scotland is a brilliant dose of a happy ‘all is good for this moment’ drug and even if its just for moment, your mind is ‘somewhere else’ and not thinking about the rotten reality of what is normally happening.
I was just wondering that if you are in a camper van and you wake up half way through the night and your joints are aching, what do you do? Can you go outside and stretch your limbs or can you be warm enough – what happens then?
Well done as you said you pushed yourself to do a walk that you thought wasn’t possible, how did you feel after achieving this – both physically and mentally?
Did it prove to you that it could be done and you would do it again? Did you realise that even though you felt the pain coming, your determination kept you going?
Has it made you feel you want to go a little further next time or do you know your limitations or have you been surprised that you could do more than you thought you could?
Did you have to have continuous breaks in the car on the journey up North as your body was aching and had you worked this out in advance. Do you take a hot water bottle with you to ease any pain on the journey? What makes it easier for you physically when you are sitting down in a car for a long time?
Would you go further next time and for longer?
Did having your dearest hubby, Will, saying you can turn back on your walk, if you needed to, make you more relaxed mentally and physically so you then had the freedom to try?
I am happy you enjoyed some whisky and did it actually help you and put you on a better more carefree place in your brain so that whisky was actually quite a positive drink to have? Did you have a moment of freedom because you thought to yourself ‘to hell with all the restrictions I am going to own this moment?’
You say that when you found the highland cow and other people “They brush past my arms and I can feel the energy of other people starting to drain my own” – if this situation happened again, what would you do i.e. how dare the energy of other people drain your own – what could you do next time to change this ending? Why should you allow these other people to take that away from you? Would you wait until next time for them to go away so you could have that moment all to yourself and not be rushed? As these moments in life are so precious so don’t give up on them too quickly as they are a good tonic to the soul.
Is there something you can rent or buy which is virtual reality on your eyes so that when you next come home to your ‘prison’ – try and give it another name otherwise those negative thoughts are making you feel like you are going back to a prison – I know its very sad to come back ‘home’ after a great holiday and I know, in essence, it can be like a prison – but can you trick your brain and call your home something like ‘twitching rabbit ear haven’ – so your brain feels less disappointment? Then have your virtual reality set ready to look at and get lost in a trip around Florence or something similar and have it ready for your when you get back home.
I think you must also say to yourself ‘Well done Amanda’ – ‘I did it and I pushed myself a little and I had a great reward’ so well done Amanda, we are all very proud of you. xxx
Thanks Didi, it was so lovely to get out and explore. I think it runs in our blood, that need to travel and explore :) Grannie Annie was so right, it does wonders to have something to look forward to. We're already planning our next trip! For now I think 1 week away works quite well, but I think under the right circumstances I could do longer. Maybe have a few more rest days in-between where I can just catch up on some sleep would do the trick.
In regards to the comment about the energy drainers. This has been a huge thing for me to try and learn over the past year. I think boundaries help, learning to take up space, sticking up for yourself, having plenty of rest in-between those draining moments. Going back to the quiet and tranquil campervan helped :) and like you said, those moments are precious and worth holding onto. I need to learn to fight for them at times. I think that's where increasing ones self-esteem helps- it's easier to fight for something when you feel you deserve it. woo wee this illness is teaching me a lot about myself!
You're right about the importance of word choice and how I frame my thoughts. Instead of viewing my flat/bed as a 'prison', it would be helpful to reframe it as my temporary safe space where I can recuperate. I think depression and hormones can warp my thoughts very easily. and its easy to view things through a negative lens. Most of the time I do love my cosy little home, but after a holiday it feels like a shock to the system. I think for next time I shall prepare myself for that feeling a bit better- maybe have something to look forward to when I come back? food for thought...Hope you are doing ok :) lots of love x
We hired a small campervan on the Isle of mull 2 years ago when I was a bit better than I am now, it was wonderful, we can't wait to do another trip to Scotland, Im hoping my walking will improve first so we can do some walking however small. Something is definitely better than nothing!!! X
Ooh we really want to explore the Isle of mull next, it looks so pretty 😍 I think even just planning the trip for when you feel a little better is exciting in itself. I get a obsessed with researching by watching YouTube videos for ideas 🤭 x
Aw this was such a lovely read as I lay ill in my bed! Something so comforting and soothing to hear of your travels💙
loving all the insights and the teachings and the lessons that are coming through. All the healing as it’s happening.
I can see you are learning the benefits of drowning out the noise, tuning into your own inner knowing, meeting your body where it’s at….listening to it!!….doing what you can when you can. Incredible stuff.
It’s a great way to educate others as well, so we can see what it takes to heal and recover.
Yesterday I didn’t get out, but I realised I can look up and out - at the sky, at the greenery. And this is enough on those days🙏✨
Thank you Amber, your insights are always so welcome and reassuring 💞 When I write it's often a way of processing my thoughts. I worry it comes across as messy sometimes, like I'm not qualified enough, but then I realise I don't need it all figured out and it might be helpful to others, seeing someone living in the chaos and working things through as it comes up. Because isn't that what we're all doing anyway- living life and working it all out as we go along? None of us know what we're doing 😆
I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Sending you hugs. I hope you feel better soon. I like what you said about the sky and greenery keeping you company on days like that. I do the same. I watch the crazy crows flying about outside my window. These simply things can brings a lot of joy and comfort 🥰 x
I have a fear of not being qualified enough too and have recently realised I’ll manifest it at some point because the fear of it exists within me. In a way I already have.
When I trained to be a yoga teacher back in 2020, I was not only told I wasn’t qualified enough with one full teaching course, I was also informed that I wasn’t experienced enough in the first place to even be “allowed” in their eyes to do it😆🤣 I’ve only recently seen how ridiculous this is and how the root belief is “not enough”.
This part of me piped up super loud with the publishing of my new ebook “Unleashing My Inner Power”. I’m sure someone will come along and tell me one day that I’m not qualified enough to teach others how to dare to dream, step into their own inner power and fly fearless but I hope I’ll be able to see that same emotion and disempowering belief at the root of it.
What you’re sharing is very helpful to others. It’s a false sense of security to think that we ought to be more than we already are. Feeling secure comes from within and that might come with a qualification for a brain surgeon. Or it might come from knowing we’re enough in all our human-ness, sharing what we’re figuring out in real time. This insight we have has got to come from somewhere. Change has to happen. We’re here to create it 💙
Wow you're so right. I hate that vicious cycle of you need experience (or qualification) to do a job, but you can't get that experience because you haven't done that job, so silly! 😆
I've had to learn to redefine what success looks like for me now. For now, being authentic in my human-ness feels enough 😊
Well, Amanda, I have always wanted to go to Scotland but now I really REALLY want to go. I loved reading this, your descriptions are wonderful, and I’m so happy you had such a great time. I hope the well-being will tide you over for a while. Any news on your biologics? I’m on a new medication, prescribed by a gastroenterologist in Barcelona, and it’s working really well! I’m delighted, I hope it lasts…
Thanks Cesca! I am so in love with Scotland and I can't wait to go back. If you ever get the chance to go then you should, it's so beautiful 😍
I am so happy to hear that your biologics are helping and giving you some relief, that's wonderful news 🥳 no word on my end yet, hopefully not too much longer to wait until I can start them🤞 x
Im not on biologics, just a very low dose of a different steroid called Clipper that you can’t get in Switzerland or France. So I’ll have stock up while I’m in Spain. Also on Gabapentin for chronic pain.
I lived in Scotland when I was a child, in a tiny hamlet in Perthshire on the edge of Loch Tay. There was a waterfall and folly up the hill and you could see the Northern Lights sometimes. It was magical. Your beautiful description of your travels has inspired me to get back there, ME and decades intervening notwithstanding. I need to breathe that air again and let the beauty feed my soul!
Oh my, that does sound like a magical place to grow up. I'm so happy that the article inspired you to want to visit again. I'm always surprised at how much there is to see up there. We spoke to a little old lady at one of the campsites, and she said she has been exploring Scotland her whole life and there is still so much more to see. How right she is. And that fresh pine scent of the forests and the clear mountain air is unlike anything else, it heals the soul : ) x
I loved reading about your Scottish Nature adventures, Amanda. I didn't want it to stop, either! It's interesting to read about how you listen to your body but also challenge yourself. It's a constant balancing act, yet you can still do a little more than you thought possible. Thank you for sharing the rugged beauty of Scotland and the cosy firesides in your photos. If you have more, I'd love to see them!
I used to rent a place in Edinburgh. I can't say I lived there since I was mainly with my parents, caring for Dad BUT lots of the places you've described are familiar to me, at least by name! LOVE the 'Coo' ;-)
Yey I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed reading it, it was so fun to write. I think Scotland unleashes that creative part of my soul, I love it there.
That's exactly it. I find having a chronic illness is a constant balancing act. Some days I get it right, other times not so much, but I learn a lot about myself in the process.
Edinburgh is such a cool place to explore, so much history, beauty and culture all in one place. I hope you're doing ok :) x
Yes, I love Edinburgh. I go there for a few days now and again when I can. The Scottish version of healthcare is much more integrated between hospitals and community—I know because my lovely neighbour who needed support and then hospice had some good, timely support.
Yes, as a caregiver there's a continuous recalibration to sustain a calm balance. It's exhausting just trying to sustain calm! I think 'Agility' is the middle name for anyone giving or receiving care over the long term.
Thanks, hon - we're doing ok. We had a VERY early medical appointment today so Mum's sleeping right now. It's a busy week. I'm about 85-90% recovered, better than Mum.
You are so right, agility and adaptability are skills we all get very good at whether we like it or not! I'm glad to hear you are on the mend. Those early morning appointments can be incredibly draining. Best wishes to you and your mum, and for a smooth week ahead for you x
Wowsas – what a lovely time you had and I really do think if you can get away from home and go on a journey, it enlivens the soul and your thoughts and invigorates your brain. I am so happy that you had this beautiful experience and I am glad you can look forward to the next adventure.
My mother always said it is good to have a holiday ready in the next few months so if you have a down moment you can think – soon I will be in …. And it gives you something to aim for and something to keep your ‘hope’ bubbling at the surface.
Yes, I believe seeing beautiful open spaces and the wildness of the countyside like Scotland is a brilliant dose of a happy ‘all is good for this moment’ drug and even if its just for moment, your mind is ‘somewhere else’ and not thinking about the rotten reality of what is normally happening.
I was just wondering that if you are in a camper van and you wake up half way through the night and your joints are aching, what do you do? Can you go outside and stretch your limbs or can you be warm enough – what happens then?
Well done as you said you pushed yourself to do a walk that you thought wasn’t possible, how did you feel after achieving this – both physically and mentally?
Did it prove to you that it could be done and you would do it again? Did you realise that even though you felt the pain coming, your determination kept you going?
Has it made you feel you want to go a little further next time or do you know your limitations or have you been surprised that you could do more than you thought you could?
Did you have to have continuous breaks in the car on the journey up North as your body was aching and had you worked this out in advance. Do you take a hot water bottle with you to ease any pain on the journey? What makes it easier for you physically when you are sitting down in a car for a long time?
Would you go further next time and for longer?
Did having your dearest hubby, Will, saying you can turn back on your walk, if you needed to, make you more relaxed mentally and physically so you then had the freedom to try?
I am happy you enjoyed some whisky and did it actually help you and put you on a better more carefree place in your brain so that whisky was actually quite a positive drink to have? Did you have a moment of freedom because you thought to yourself ‘to hell with all the restrictions I am going to own this moment?’
You say that when you found the highland cow and other people “They brush past my arms and I can feel the energy of other people starting to drain my own” – if this situation happened again, what would you do i.e. how dare the energy of other people drain your own – what could you do next time to change this ending? Why should you allow these other people to take that away from you? Would you wait until next time for them to go away so you could have that moment all to yourself and not be rushed? As these moments in life are so precious so don’t give up on them too quickly as they are a good tonic to the soul.
Is there something you can rent or buy which is virtual reality on your eyes so that when you next come home to your ‘prison’ – try and give it another name otherwise those negative thoughts are making you feel like you are going back to a prison – I know its very sad to come back ‘home’ after a great holiday and I know, in essence, it can be like a prison – but can you trick your brain and call your home something like ‘twitching rabbit ear haven’ – so your brain feels less disappointment? Then have your virtual reality set ready to look at and get lost in a trip around Florence or something similar and have it ready for your when you get back home.
I think you must also say to yourself ‘Well done Amanda’ – ‘I did it and I pushed myself a little and I had a great reward’ so well done Amanda, we are all very proud of you. xxx
Thanks Didi, it was so lovely to get out and explore. I think it runs in our blood, that need to travel and explore :) Grannie Annie was so right, it does wonders to have something to look forward to. We're already planning our next trip! For now I think 1 week away works quite well, but I think under the right circumstances I could do longer. Maybe have a few more rest days in-between where I can just catch up on some sleep would do the trick.
In regards to the comment about the energy drainers. This has been a huge thing for me to try and learn over the past year. I think boundaries help, learning to take up space, sticking up for yourself, having plenty of rest in-between those draining moments. Going back to the quiet and tranquil campervan helped :) and like you said, those moments are precious and worth holding onto. I need to learn to fight for them at times. I think that's where increasing ones self-esteem helps- it's easier to fight for something when you feel you deserve it. woo wee this illness is teaching me a lot about myself!
You're right about the importance of word choice and how I frame my thoughts. Instead of viewing my flat/bed as a 'prison', it would be helpful to reframe it as my temporary safe space where I can recuperate. I think depression and hormones can warp my thoughts very easily. and its easy to view things through a negative lens. Most of the time I do love my cosy little home, but after a holiday it feels like a shock to the system. I think for next time I shall prepare myself for that feeling a bit better- maybe have something to look forward to when I come back? food for thought...Hope you are doing ok :) lots of love x
We hired a small campervan on the Isle of mull 2 years ago when I was a bit better than I am now, it was wonderful, we can't wait to do another trip to Scotland, Im hoping my walking will improve first so we can do some walking however small. Something is definitely better than nothing!!! X
Ooh we really want to explore the Isle of mull next, it looks so pretty 😍 I think even just planning the trip for when you feel a little better is exciting in itself. I get a obsessed with researching by watching YouTube videos for ideas 🤭 x
Mull is stunning and was very friendly too. Some amazing campsites too. Yes planning is definitely fun! X
Aw this was such a lovely read as I lay ill in my bed! Something so comforting and soothing to hear of your travels💙
loving all the insights and the teachings and the lessons that are coming through. All the healing as it’s happening.
I can see you are learning the benefits of drowning out the noise, tuning into your own inner knowing, meeting your body where it’s at….listening to it!!….doing what you can when you can. Incredible stuff.
It’s a great way to educate others as well, so we can see what it takes to heal and recover.
Yesterday I didn’t get out, but I realised I can look up and out - at the sky, at the greenery. And this is enough on those days🙏✨
Thank you Amber, your insights are always so welcome and reassuring 💞 When I write it's often a way of processing my thoughts. I worry it comes across as messy sometimes, like I'm not qualified enough, but then I realise I don't need it all figured out and it might be helpful to others, seeing someone living in the chaos and working things through as it comes up. Because isn't that what we're all doing anyway- living life and working it all out as we go along? None of us know what we're doing 😆
I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Sending you hugs. I hope you feel better soon. I like what you said about the sky and greenery keeping you company on days like that. I do the same. I watch the crazy crows flying about outside my window. These simply things can brings a lot of joy and comfort 🥰 x
I have a fear of not being qualified enough too and have recently realised I’ll manifest it at some point because the fear of it exists within me. In a way I already have.
When I trained to be a yoga teacher back in 2020, I was not only told I wasn’t qualified enough with one full teaching course, I was also informed that I wasn’t experienced enough in the first place to even be “allowed” in their eyes to do it😆🤣 I’ve only recently seen how ridiculous this is and how the root belief is “not enough”.
This part of me piped up super loud with the publishing of my new ebook “Unleashing My Inner Power”. I’m sure someone will come along and tell me one day that I’m not qualified enough to teach others how to dare to dream, step into their own inner power and fly fearless but I hope I’ll be able to see that same emotion and disempowering belief at the root of it.
What you’re sharing is very helpful to others. It’s a false sense of security to think that we ought to be more than we already are. Feeling secure comes from within and that might come with a qualification for a brain surgeon. Or it might come from knowing we’re enough in all our human-ness, sharing what we’re figuring out in real time. This insight we have has got to come from somewhere. Change has to happen. We’re here to create it 💙
Wow you're so right. I hate that vicious cycle of you need experience (or qualification) to do a job, but you can't get that experience because you haven't done that job, so silly! 😆
I've had to learn to redefine what success looks like for me now. For now, being authentic in my human-ness feels enough 😊
Redefining success! I love that😍
Being authentic is enough - I love this language !!
Took me YEARS to reach that point. You’re already way ahead of the game and I’m not even sure you realise just how much 💛✨
💞
Well, Amanda, I have always wanted to go to Scotland but now I really REALLY want to go. I loved reading this, your descriptions are wonderful, and I’m so happy you had such a great time. I hope the well-being will tide you over for a while. Any news on your biologics? I’m on a new medication, prescribed by a gastroenterologist in Barcelona, and it’s working really well! I’m delighted, I hope it lasts…
Thanks Cesca! I am so in love with Scotland and I can't wait to go back. If you ever get the chance to go then you should, it's so beautiful 😍
I am so happy to hear that your biologics are helping and giving you some relief, that's wonderful news 🥳 no word on my end yet, hopefully not too much longer to wait until I can start them🤞 x
Im not on biologics, just a very low dose of a different steroid called Clipper that you can’t get in Switzerland or France. So I’ll have stock up while I’m in Spain. Also on Gabapentin for chronic pain.
Ooh I see, I've not heard of that one, but I'm so happy it's making a difference 😊
Amanda - FYI https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/beclometasone-tablets/about-beclometasone-tablets/
Just in case you were wondering.xo
Thank you, this is helpful! x