Can therapy help us to discover what is underneath all the layers of social conditioning, expectations, insecurities, ego and fear? Would you even recognise the 'real' you that gets unearthed?
Oh wow, Amanda - thank you for writing this. My fatigued mind had to skim over some of it, but I feel your words so deeply. Your story feels so much like my own, though I was diagnosed 4.5 years ago. I feel really grateful that I had already discovered therapy by that point, and had actually been with my current counsellor for a year or so before diagnosis. It has been a huge part in coming to terms with my conditions and helping me to find a way through.
I love your analogy of cleaning the kitchen - I've used a similar explanation of tidying an office full of filing cabinets - before therapy there were papers everywhere, in no order at all and it was very chaotic. Therapy (and medication) helped me to empty that room and start to methodically sort through it all so that it could go back into the cabinets in a more organised way.
I really love that your journey has allowed you to meet your authentic self, and this is the part that speaks to my own heart and journey as well. In lots of ways, I feel like it's been a gift, of sorts. Though I'd have much preferred not to have been left with a lifelong condition!
I should be the one thanking you Ruth. It was actually by reading your writing on Substack and following you along on Instagram, that actually gave me the courage and inspiration to start writing here on Substack, which then lead me to wanting to try therapy to understand myself even more! I related so much to what you were saying about coming back to your authentic self and taking up the space again after diagnosis. I remember reading your Substack and just crying, in sheer relief, that someone else felt what I had felt. It put words to feelings I couldn't express at the time. I also love how you let your creativity guide you and it showed me how art can be such a therapeutic way of expressing yourself- it inspired me to take up drawing and painting again, for fun, without guilt! Wow that's been a game changer in itself too. I totally agree, I wish we both didn't have to get pushed to do all this via a chronic illness, but it's certainly been a gift in many weird ways. So thanks Ruth :) x
Oh Amanda ♥ I am so very touched by your reply. You've no idea how much it means to me to know that my words inspired you to start writing and to feel less alone - it's all I've ever wanted from the words I share. It's what fuels me to continue sharing - even if it only helps one person. Thank you for having the courage to start writing and to share your own experiences and journey - it will help others ♥
I really enjoyed reading this even though it was long. Glad I got my castor oil pack on before i settled in!
Therapy has been one I sat with for a long time (years). Wondering did I really need counselling therapy or could I have gone straight into bodywork massage therapy and yoga healing? I had counselling for 3.5 years. In the end, the answer was yes. Yes I did need counselling first. There was no giving it a swerve. Counselling saved my life.
The mental strength it gave me at the point I found myself diagnosed and disabled was the catalyst to my undertaking all the research I did about my condition. In a way that empowered me to drown out the noise, tune into my own inner knowing. Empowering myself to make the biggest, toughest, most awkward decisions. How could I have tackled it in the way I did without mental strength? I can see now that I couldn’t.
And the role of deeply healing therapies are taking me beyond survival. With those I have been able to heal trauma in my body, from this lifetime and past. Modalities that have enabled me to thrive and not just survive. A conclusion I have reached based upon my own experience and understanding up to this point in any case💛🙏🌷
Haha thanks for sticking it out. A 20 minute read with fatigue is quite epic 😅 I should start writing a few shorter ones to balance them it out!
I love what you said, that therapy gave you the mental strength to tune in to what your body needed. That makes a lot of sense. I'm finding the more I'm sorting out my emotions, the more head space I have for other things like writing, socialising and practicing boundaries. I have to remind myself to 'walk before I can run' though, and to not take too much on too quickly! Baby steps 😊 and also to not get too disheartened if I take a few steps back some days. It's all part of the journey x
Oh wow, Amanda - thank you for writing this. My fatigued mind had to skim over some of it, but I feel your words so deeply. Your story feels so much like my own, though I was diagnosed 4.5 years ago. I feel really grateful that I had already discovered therapy by that point, and had actually been with my current counsellor for a year or so before diagnosis. It has been a huge part in coming to terms with my conditions and helping me to find a way through.
I love your analogy of cleaning the kitchen - I've used a similar explanation of tidying an office full of filing cabinets - before therapy there were papers everywhere, in no order at all and it was very chaotic. Therapy (and medication) helped me to empty that room and start to methodically sort through it all so that it could go back into the cabinets in a more organised way.
I really love that your journey has allowed you to meet your authentic self, and this is the part that speaks to my own heart and journey as well. In lots of ways, I feel like it's been a gift, of sorts. Though I'd have much preferred not to have been left with a lifelong condition!
Sending you lots of love ♥
I should be the one thanking you Ruth. It was actually by reading your writing on Substack and following you along on Instagram, that actually gave me the courage and inspiration to start writing here on Substack, which then lead me to wanting to try therapy to understand myself even more! I related so much to what you were saying about coming back to your authentic self and taking up the space again after diagnosis. I remember reading your Substack and just crying, in sheer relief, that someone else felt what I had felt. It put words to feelings I couldn't express at the time. I also love how you let your creativity guide you and it showed me how art can be such a therapeutic way of expressing yourself- it inspired me to take up drawing and painting again, for fun, without guilt! Wow that's been a game changer in itself too. I totally agree, I wish we both didn't have to get pushed to do all this via a chronic illness, but it's certainly been a gift in many weird ways. So thanks Ruth :) x
Oh Amanda ♥ I am so very touched by your reply. You've no idea how much it means to me to know that my words inspired you to start writing and to feel less alone - it's all I've ever wanted from the words I share. It's what fuels me to continue sharing - even if it only helps one person. Thank you for having the courage to start writing and to share your own experiences and journey - it will help others ♥
It just goes to show how powerful sharing your story can be 😊💕
I really enjoyed reading this even though it was long. Glad I got my castor oil pack on before i settled in!
Therapy has been one I sat with for a long time (years). Wondering did I really need counselling therapy or could I have gone straight into bodywork massage therapy and yoga healing? I had counselling for 3.5 years. In the end, the answer was yes. Yes I did need counselling first. There was no giving it a swerve. Counselling saved my life.
The mental strength it gave me at the point I found myself diagnosed and disabled was the catalyst to my undertaking all the research I did about my condition. In a way that empowered me to drown out the noise, tune into my own inner knowing. Empowering myself to make the biggest, toughest, most awkward decisions. How could I have tackled it in the way I did without mental strength? I can see now that I couldn’t.
And the role of deeply healing therapies are taking me beyond survival. With those I have been able to heal trauma in my body, from this lifetime and past. Modalities that have enabled me to thrive and not just survive. A conclusion I have reached based upon my own experience and understanding up to this point in any case💛🙏🌷
Haha thanks for sticking it out. A 20 minute read with fatigue is quite epic 😅 I should start writing a few shorter ones to balance them it out!
I love what you said, that therapy gave you the mental strength to tune in to what your body needed. That makes a lot of sense. I'm finding the more I'm sorting out my emotions, the more head space I have for other things like writing, socialising and practicing boundaries. I have to remind myself to 'walk before I can run' though, and to not take too much on too quickly! Baby steps 😊 and also to not get too disheartened if I take a few steps back some days. It's all part of the journey x