Thank you for sharing this ♥ I think my relationship with my body (and my self) has improved a lot since becoming ill, because I feel like I've HAD to work on it. There was no longer any room to be cruel to myself and the way I looked. I suddenly had TIME to stop and actually see my body and how it had changed, and what it meant to ME (and not other people). It's definitely a journey, and as I'm getting older my body is changing in new ways, and so it is constantly meeting myself anew. I think my illness has made me more patient and compassionate for myself and my limitations. My body is doing the best that it can, and I need to support it in the way it supports me, even if it doesn't feel fair to be suffering so much sometimes - the reality is that my body and my mind are suffering together, and it's not eithers fault that I have this condition, so I try to show myself as much love as I can.
I love this thank you. This is such a good point about now having the time and being forced to slow down and be kind to yourself. Illness really does that. I think that's why it's been brewing for a while for me, but it's only now I've started to properly think about it and process it. I feel so terrible if I don't look after myself, I can't ignore it anymore. Thanks for sharing 💕
I can relate so much to this! Though the change only really happened when I woke up to the seriousness of the illness I’d been living with for 20years by that time. Now I look back on the last 6 years as a gift. Because I wouldn’t have made the changes I did nor had the time available to me without becoming disabled by illness first.
its very interesting to think that if you look at a famous painting by Peter Paul Rubens called 'The Three Graces' - painted in 1635 - just look at how the women were in those days so this modern craze about body shaming is just a fabrication by people who want to make money !!!! so just ignore it and be yourself - and now with modern technology you can tweak any photo to change it to an untruth !
Sometimes its good to go to a place with 'crazy' mirrors and just have a good laugh and then you'll be glad to look at yourself in the last mirror and be relieved. Also if you look at yourself in a mirror would you use bright or gentle lights ?- be kind to yourself.
hi Amanda - brilliant piece of work where you are trying to come to terms with your body and the many facets of this journey.
One little thing I want to point out is that if you mention that "your partner doesn’t like his stomach much, he keeps saying he needs to lose a few pounds and pokes at his tummy, but you love every single bit of him. It’s squishy and warm and cosy and he gives amazing hugs." so why can't you accept what he says in reverse? I think you cannot beat the feeling of a hug so I would let him give you a hug, because he loves the whole of you - not just one part of you - like you love the whole of him - so please don't deny the both of you from hugging each other. Maybe your new thinking pattern is that you should 'hug' your partner and vice versa at least twice a day and 'feel GOOD' about it - and you will. You never know it could be 3 times a day - don't live with regrets my girl.
You mention about your dearest mum wishing she could have had one last swim and life as being short so please HUG more as your dear partner needs to feel loved too. Tell him you love him and thank him for coming into your life and give him a big hug, even from behind, and you know the endorphins released will take away all that pain for that beautiful moment shared together xxx
My dearest caring daughter says i 'keep going down the rabbit hole' - so please don't do the same. Back soon xxx
You are so right. That's the frustrating thing I've come to realise, that it not only affects me but those that I love around me. I shall give him a big hug right now :) x
Thank you for this post - this is something I needed to read this morning! I relate to so much of what you write about here, from the negative feelings about losing/putting on weight, dark circles under eyes and bruises everywhere, to the resentful feelings that can creep in towards others who take for granted that their bodies are healthy. I'm working hard on changing this mindset, using many of the suggestions you make in this post, especially giving myself space to grieve but then letting it go and thinking about the bigger picture - trying to also look at things that are positive and that I can be grateful for. It's definitely a journey!
Thank you so much for this Lisa and also for subscribing 💕. It's a hard journey isn't it? But I think it's a worthy one. Like today, my hormones are flying about all over the place and I feel crappy about myself, but I'm just trying to remember that it's a moment in time and it shall pass, and instead of beating myself up I'm going to do something nice for myself instead. I'm going to have a nice bath, do some reading, make a yummy salad.
I'm glad some of the things in the article are helping you too. We're in this together! 😊 x
Great post, thanks for baring so much of yourself to drive home these messages. I shared this Instagram post the other year and was physically shaking as I went to share it. How did you feel after sharing so openly and vulnerably?
The year after I shared this post I learnt a lot about where my body dysmorphia had come from (my mum) and am able to show myself a lot more love and compassion.
This has been some journey though and a lot of practice, therapy, inner child work, deep healing and I did particularly love Louise Hay’s book “The Power is Within You” and her take on self love💜🦋
I just read your post 💕 thanks for sharing the link. I get the same as you, you hit the 'post' button and almost get a vulnerability hangover haha. But then afterwards comes a deep sense of relief and peace. Like all those thoughts and feelings that have weighed me down for so long have just been lifted. And then generous people like yourself and the others in the comments let me know that they feel similar and it feels amazing to share. It's a nice reminder that we're all so similar in many ways, and the shame we held on to for ages for having such deep feelings doesn't feel so scary anymore x
I feel this down to my bones. I haven’t written about my experience yet but I’ve had a chronic illness my whole life - since infancy - and I still struggle to like myself. I have been better since I started exercising and eating healthier, but I get the IBS bloat (among other stomach issues) and I struggle to breathe (heart and lung issues too!)
I’ve only started liking myself and accepting myself and that’s actually what drove me to start this substack. I felt like if I could’ve found people more like me when I was younger, or someone who would understand, I wouldn’t have waited so long to accept/like myself
Thank you. I know exactly what you mean Melissa 💕 places like substack and the chronic illness community in general, has been so deeply healing for me, to find others that just understand and truly 'get it' has been amazing. I feel the same as you, if only we found people like us sooner. I'm glad you're here 😊
Great to find you on here, I’m obsessed when it comes to reading the journey of others and I’m so glad to read you’re on the journey to liking and accepting yourself - I’ve hit subscribe!
Thank you for sharing this ♥ I think my relationship with my body (and my self) has improved a lot since becoming ill, because I feel like I've HAD to work on it. There was no longer any room to be cruel to myself and the way I looked. I suddenly had TIME to stop and actually see my body and how it had changed, and what it meant to ME (and not other people). It's definitely a journey, and as I'm getting older my body is changing in new ways, and so it is constantly meeting myself anew. I think my illness has made me more patient and compassionate for myself and my limitations. My body is doing the best that it can, and I need to support it in the way it supports me, even if it doesn't feel fair to be suffering so much sometimes - the reality is that my body and my mind are suffering together, and it's not eithers fault that I have this condition, so I try to show myself as much love as I can.
I love this thank you. This is such a good point about now having the time and being forced to slow down and be kind to yourself. Illness really does that. I think that's why it's been brewing for a while for me, but it's only now I've started to properly think about it and process it. I feel so terrible if I don't look after myself, I can't ignore it anymore. Thanks for sharing 💕
I can relate so much to this! Though the change only really happened when I woke up to the seriousness of the illness I’d been living with for 20years by that time. Now I look back on the last 6 years as a gift. Because I wouldn’t have made the changes I did nor had the time available to me without becoming disabled by illness first.
its very interesting to think that if you look at a famous painting by Peter Paul Rubens called 'The Three Graces' - painted in 1635 - just look at how the women were in those days so this modern craze about body shaming is just a fabrication by people who want to make money !!!! so just ignore it and be yourself - and now with modern technology you can tweak any photo to change it to an untruth !
Sometimes its good to go to a place with 'crazy' mirrors and just have a good laugh and then you'll be glad to look at yourself in the last mirror and be relieved. Also if you look at yourself in a mirror would you use bright or gentle lights ?- be kind to yourself.
hi Amanda - brilliant piece of work where you are trying to come to terms with your body and the many facets of this journey.
One little thing I want to point out is that if you mention that "your partner doesn’t like his stomach much, he keeps saying he needs to lose a few pounds and pokes at his tummy, but you love every single bit of him. It’s squishy and warm and cosy and he gives amazing hugs." so why can't you accept what he says in reverse? I think you cannot beat the feeling of a hug so I would let him give you a hug, because he loves the whole of you - not just one part of you - like you love the whole of him - so please don't deny the both of you from hugging each other. Maybe your new thinking pattern is that you should 'hug' your partner and vice versa at least twice a day and 'feel GOOD' about it - and you will. You never know it could be 3 times a day - don't live with regrets my girl.
You mention about your dearest mum wishing she could have had one last swim and life as being short so please HUG more as your dear partner needs to feel loved too. Tell him you love him and thank him for coming into your life and give him a big hug, even from behind, and you know the endorphins released will take away all that pain for that beautiful moment shared together xxx
My dearest caring daughter says i 'keep going down the rabbit hole' - so please don't do the same. Back soon xxx
You are so right. That's the frustrating thing I've come to realise, that it not only affects me but those that I love around me. I shall give him a big hug right now :) x
yay and never stop hugging him xxx
Thank you for this post - this is something I needed to read this morning! I relate to so much of what you write about here, from the negative feelings about losing/putting on weight, dark circles under eyes and bruises everywhere, to the resentful feelings that can creep in towards others who take for granted that their bodies are healthy. I'm working hard on changing this mindset, using many of the suggestions you make in this post, especially giving myself space to grieve but then letting it go and thinking about the bigger picture - trying to also look at things that are positive and that I can be grateful for. It's definitely a journey!
Thank you so much for this Lisa and also for subscribing 💕. It's a hard journey isn't it? But I think it's a worthy one. Like today, my hormones are flying about all over the place and I feel crappy about myself, but I'm just trying to remember that it's a moment in time and it shall pass, and instead of beating myself up I'm going to do something nice for myself instead. I'm going to have a nice bath, do some reading, make a yummy salad.
I'm glad some of the things in the article are helping you too. We're in this together! 😊 x
Great post, thanks for baring so much of yourself to drive home these messages. I shared this Instagram post the other year and was physically shaking as I went to share it. How did you feel after sharing so openly and vulnerably?
https://www.instagram.com/p/CRj6KAmLwWh/?igsh=ZWdsdjYzMGk2azQz
The year after I shared this post I learnt a lot about where my body dysmorphia had come from (my mum) and am able to show myself a lot more love and compassion.
This has been some journey though and a lot of practice, therapy, inner child work, deep healing and I did particularly love Louise Hay’s book “The Power is Within You” and her take on self love💜🦋
I just read your post 💕 thanks for sharing the link. I get the same as you, you hit the 'post' button and almost get a vulnerability hangover haha. But then afterwards comes a deep sense of relief and peace. Like all those thoughts and feelings that have weighed me down for so long have just been lifted. And then generous people like yourself and the others in the comments let me know that they feel similar and it feels amazing to share. It's a nice reminder that we're all so similar in many ways, and the shame we held on to for ages for having such deep feelings doesn't feel so scary anymore x
I feel this down to my bones. I haven’t written about my experience yet but I’ve had a chronic illness my whole life - since infancy - and I still struggle to like myself. I have been better since I started exercising and eating healthier, but I get the IBS bloat (among other stomach issues) and I struggle to breathe (heart and lung issues too!)
I’ve only started liking myself and accepting myself and that’s actually what drove me to start this substack. I felt like if I could’ve found people more like me when I was younger, or someone who would understand, I wouldn’t have waited so long to accept/like myself
Thank you. I know exactly what you mean Melissa 💕 places like substack and the chronic illness community in general, has been so deeply healing for me, to find others that just understand and truly 'get it' has been amazing. I feel the same as you, if only we found people like us sooner. I'm glad you're here 😊
Great to find you on here, I’m obsessed when it comes to reading the journey of others and I’m so glad to read you’re on the journey to liking and accepting yourself - I’ve hit subscribe!